Getting Back ON the Horse
I hope you're all doing well.
This year has been full to the brim with life and work, which I’m truly grateful for, but it also came with some challenges.
Amidst all this, I’ve got to be honest—I fell off the horse!
With everything happening, I stopped a number of routine things (this newsletter for one) and my meditation practice. And I don’t know about you, but when I fall off the horse, there is always so much resistance to getting back on.
A few weeks ago, I gave myself one of those harsh, guilt-driven pep talks: “Come on, don’t be a fraud. Practice what you preach. Sit down and meditate—just do it.”
I dusted off my meditation cushion, closed my eyes, and brought attention to my breath… breathing in – breathing out. Simple, right? “this is old hat,” I challenged.
But after 15 seconds, my attention wandered. I brought it back—over and over again.
By 10 minutes, my body was protesting.
By 15 minutes, my mind was in overdrive, judging everything: the practice, myself, and whether it was even worth it.
By 20 minutes, frustration was winning. “I’m done.”
Just as I was about to get up, something inside me urged, "Just be - for 1 minute.”
The pressure to "do it right" faded, and I simply paused. I acknowledged the discomfort and the frustration. I owned the resistance that had kept me from practicing and the truth of how hard it was to find my way back.
I softened into knowing that it's not about achieving stillness or uncovering some grand revelation. The practice is about allowing and accepting whatever comes up, breath by breath. I sat with what is – accepting minute-by-minute. Re-orienting my breath, senses, and body to being present one minute at a time.
So, do you want to hear what I learned about getting back on the horse?
Pain, stress, and discomfort are part of the human experience.
Resistance is a strong companion, and judgment only makes it worse.
All transformation starts with gentle, kind awareness.
It takes courage to look within.
If there is a horse you need to get back onto may I offer the value of my experience. While not easy, being present during our challenging moments, especially when met with acceptance and gentle awareness, gives space for strength and resilience. And a new sense of get-to-it-ness.